Time to Work?

Once in a while I worry about the impact of inflation on our fixed income and our savings. At one point recently, I even thought I might find a job to supplement our income. With unemployment low, around 4% as of this writing, I doubted I’d be taking any meaningful work away from anyone, so why not?

Why not indeed? Unfortunately, after examining the results of a detailed, week-long time study I just finished, I’ve learned I can’t go back to work, much as I may want to. I just don’t have the time. Now, rigorous statistical analysis also suggests a couple of my beloved readers won’t believe this. So, OK, here’s an excerpt from my schedule, based on the study. You two skeptics tell me, do I have time to work, or not?

(The following is an excerpted morning period representing the average of seven days in this study week. Some of the items mentioned were done by Irene on rare occasion. But consider the following to be representative.)

Beginning of Study Excerpt

7 AM – Up out of bed. Make bed, note sheets could use changing. Think about changing sheets now. Decide peeing takes precedence. Make mental note to change sheets later. Turn off Inspire device which controls electrical impulses to my tongue at night to help control my sleep apnea. Think once again how bizarre that sounds. Make mental note to call Sleep Apnea doctor later and have him explain Inspire to me again.

7:05 – 7-20 AM   Go into bathroom. Take my morning meds, left out from the night before. Stand in front of mirror for full minute, shocked at how old I look. Ask myself how I feel. Agree with myself that looks can be deceiving. Do quick body scan for new/old aches and pains. Make mental note of bothersome aches and pains for later addressing while stretching. Wash face and hands. Look for, find, and put on bathrobe. Look for reading glasses. Assume they are in kitchen, probably on counter. Pee. Wipe pee spots off floor. Make mental note to wash bathroom tile. Wash hands again. Go back through bedroom and on way out scratch Buster, still asleep.

7:20-8:20         Walk from bedroom to kitchen. Fill Kuerig, turn on, do one set of deep knee-bends and wait while Kuerig heats. Look in cupboard for decaf K-Cups, which I know we have. They aren’t there. Look in pantry, behind me. Nothing there. Look again in first cupboard. Find boxes of decaf K-Cups. After long search find large-enough coffee cup in dishwasher. Put other clean dishes away. Take Death Juice (Hazelnut CoffeeMate liquid creamer) out of refrigerator. Put too much in large coffee cup. Sip to ensure Death Juice hasn’t gone bad. Tastes marginal. Check expiration date. None. Make mental note to check online to see if there IS an expiration date for CoffeeMate liquid creamer or does it otherwise just last forever? Put coffee cup in microwave for 30 seconds. Take out, put under Kuerig, go to raise shades. Look for remote for shades. Don’t hear Kuerig. Go back, raise handle, close again. Kuerig starts. Go back to look for remote. Remember glasses. Turn around. Go back to counter. No glasses. Go back to bedroom. Not in bedroom, bathroom. Sit on edge of tub and try to remember where I last saw glasses. Go into closet, find glasses on shelf atop sweaters, check. Filthy. Go back through bedroom, scratch Buster, still asleep. Go into kitchen, open drawer with glasses cleaner, not there. Go into office, past pantry. Glasses cleaner is in drawer with pens and paper-clips. Spray on glasses. Go back to kitchen, put cleaner in proper drawer, use clean dishtowel to dry glasses, replace used dishtowel with this fairly clean one. Go to laundry room, toss used dishtowel in hamper. Note that several of my favorite T-shirts are in laundry hamper again. Consider starting load. Make mental note instead. Go back to kitchen, resume search for remote to raise curtains. Find it in drawer with all the media remotes. (Sony, Universal Remote, Apple TV remote, Bluetooth remote for DVD player which can’t work from living room anyway due to distance to Media Closet, three others, functions unknown, probably from some other past house). Consider consolidating remotes and dumping DVD remote, as DVD is said to work on Universal Remote – leastwise if it was close to the Media Closet. Decide against consolidating right now. Press curtain remote. No joy. Go to Laundry Room. Find battery keeper, which has a built-in battery checker. Check batteries in curtain remote. All good. Replace and go back. Remote doesn’t work. Take batteries out. Look at direction indicated which batteries must face. Replace accordingly, press again. Curtains raise perfectly. Look out, note that both birdseed containers are nearly empty. Make mental note to fill all containers today. Make mental note to check mixed-bird and thistle seed supplies, another to fill containers.  Wonder how curtain remote has been working with batteries upside down. Shake head. Go to fireplace starter, start fireplace burning. Go back to Keurig, try coffee, find it acceptable. Unplug our iPads from central charging station next to Keurig. Take to counter along with coffee, set up both of our iPads. Look for iPhones. Find Irene’s, also plugged in at charging station. Can’t find mine. Use her iPhone’s phone-finder capability to cause my iPhone to ring, seven feet from me. Take both phones and place next to iPads. Sit so I can check Fitbit sleep function. Fitbit says I had a fair amount of sleep, beginning at 12:48 AM. Wonder what’s wrong with the Fitbit app as I went to sleep about 10:30. Decide to call Fitbit support. Put that call on my mental list for later, along with calling Doctor about Inspire, changing bed sheets, washing bathroom tile, checking about expiration date of death juice, stretching today’s aches and pains, doing load of wash, consolidating media remotes, buying second container of glasses cleaner, buying mixed-bird and thistle seeds on Amazon. Begin checking emails and texts on iPad. Delete some emails. Keep others for no reason. Repeat with texts; ignore all except those from Bots belonging to doctors double-checking my next appointments. Those I cross-check dates on my calendar app. Find one that’s wrong; place wrong one on mental list for later action. Open my Wordl, Words with Friends, and NYT Spelling Bee games on iPad and settle in.

End of Study Excerpt

I don’t see any value in dragging you through the rest of the day. I can attest to the accuracy of both the study method and its results. I’ll just note;  the rest of the day didn’t get any easier. Conclusion:  I’m busy as hell and don’t see how I can carve out any time to work a day-job. Truth be known I don’t see now how I used to work at all.